February 2012
15 posts
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Reviewing The $even Epi$ode$ Of "Hou$e Of Lie$"...
I’m conflicted with this Hou$e of Lie$ show, is that how you’re supposed to write it, with the dollar signs? Anyway, Don Cheadle is cool, Kristen Bell* is awesome, Ben Schwartz is hilarious, but Hou$e of Lie$ is just okay. The show’s gotten better as it’s gone along, but I think it could go either way**.
It’s almost like the show tries too hard to be edgy. These...
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Jon Glaser’s Delocated Subway Commercials
It’s funny how these would make absolutely no sense to someone who hasn’t seen Delocated, although I’m guessing they probably only air them during Adult Swim. Subway’s next order of business should be coming out with a sub called “The Meat Suite.”
When you think about it, a...
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Vertical Insensitivity
(Don’t take this seriously) Forms always ask that question “What race do you consider yourself?” Like, if I’m white I could consider myself to be an Alaskan Eskimo if I wanted. Well I say why can’t the same logic be applied to height? I’m a little over 6 feet tall, so I always get the question “Did you ever play basketball?” That’s a stereotype and highly offensive. I suppose they think...
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Person, Or Robot?
I was at the dentist yesterday reading People Magazine in the waiting room, which is actually the only place people read People Magazine. While thumbing through the latest unnecessary celebrity news, I saw something in the obituary section that seemed really wrong but kind of funny. The man who voiced the robot on Lost In Space, Dick Tufeld, died and instead of putting a picture of him they...
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This just in: 9 out of 10 Smurfs prefer the taste of Bud Light Platinum to whatever Bud Light Platinum’s competitors are.
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Good One, Jay.
Good one, Jay!
*cue guitar solo*
This has been Good One, Jay, where a photo of Kevin Eubanks sarcastically says “Good one, Jay” in response to one of Jay Leno’s bad monologue jokes posted to Twitter.
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Adam Sandler is set to write and star in a movie adaptation of the popular board game Candy Land, which is a real thing. At least he can re-use this “get chocolate wasted” scene.
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Alien Or Paul Shaffer?
It’s time to play Alien or Paul Shaffer, the game where you determine if a picture is of a space alien or if it’s just a picture of Paul Shaffer in a weird outfit. Let’s get started, is this an Alien or Paul Shaffer?
The correct answer is “Paul Shaffer,” in the photo entitled “Paul Shaffer Phone Home.”
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Dumb Things People Do On Facebook
I’m sure there have been thousands of articles about dumb things people do on Facebook, but I never see people mention some of these:
Rooting For Sports Teams
On Sundays, my friends’ status updates are always like “Go Patriots!!!” and I’m always thinking, “you know, I think Tom Brady and the rest of the New England Patriots staff might be a little too busy to be reading Chuck from...
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Boyd Crowder Is An Unironic Hipster
If you watch Justified, you’ll notice that Boyd Crowder dresses just like a hipster, but not ironically. I suppose people living in the backwoods of Kentucky don’t know much about hipsters and their wardrobe.
The Evidence:
Cardigan? Yep.
Glasses he probably doesn’t need? Check.
Plaid shirt buttoned all the way to the top and hair that looks like he just woke up? You...