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I Question “Joe Rogan Questions Everything”

I’ve been watching the show Joe Rogan Questions Everything, where he hunts for Bigfoot and UFOs.  I like the show, but it just seems like the idea of a celebrity searching for these things is absurd.  If Joe Rogan found Bigfoot, it would be all over the news immediately.  Not only was Bigfoot discovered, Bigfoot was discovered by Joe Rogan!  The guy from Fear Factor and podcasts!  So the whole time anybody is watching the show they know Joe Rogan didn’t find Bigfoot.  The whole premise is a spoiler.

In one episode Rogan is looking for evidence of UFOs and he goes and talks to an expert.  The expert tells a bunch of UFO stories, and Rogan gets mad because they’re just stories and not proof.  I knew Joe Rogan wasn’t going to beat this guy up, but he had this threatening look for a second that was like “Show me an alien now or I’m gonna use my Tae Kwon Do on you.”  Obviously there’s no proof of aliens, that’s why the show exists. 

I guess it’s not really that absurd if you think about it.  If Joe Rogan actually found Bigfoot everyone would know immediately, probably by a selfie with Bigfoot on Twitter, but they would definitely still tune in to the show.  That would get the biggest ratings of all time, and it’d be even bigger if Joe Rogan found Bigfoot and was then abducted by aliens along with his camera crew.  We’re talking “See Joe Rogan and Bigfoot inside an alien spacecraft” level ratings. 

I recommend the show, it’s fun to watch the different people Rogan and Duncan Trussell interview.  Some are reputable people from the government and others look they just woke up from a coma they went into in 1994, immediately polished off a bottle of booze and were thrown in front of the camera.

I’m glad Andy Daly’s show Review got renewed.  I don’t think I’ve actually laughed so much at a show.  Usually it’s just like “that’s funny,” but this show I would actually laugh and rewind to see a scene again, especially the last episode. 

I like this video because the same thing happened to me that happened to those people in the van at the end.  I remember we were driving in the parking lot of a pizza place and there was a guy standing next to his car vomiting, so we kept driving and never went back.  I’d like to think that guy was Andy Daly.

Some people have said that Mad Men is a show about today that is set in the past.  That’s definitely true for season 7, because their Burger Chef pitch was pretty much a combo of The Olive Garden’s “When you’re here you’re family” and the Sprint Framily Plan.  Now I hope I will never have to type or hear the word “framily” ever again.  Lets just go on pretending that the word “framily” never existed. 

Some people have said that Mad Men is a show about today that is set in the past.  That’s definitely true for season 7, because their Burger Chef pitch was pretty much a combo of The Olive Garden’s “When you’re here you’re family” and the Sprint Framily Plan.  Now I hope I will never have to type or hear the word “framily” ever again.  Lets just go on pretending that the word “framily” never existed. 

#mad men   #framily  

At Jiffy Lube I noticed that a mechanic was drinking a NOS Energy drink.  I wonder if he’s ever confused his NOS Energy bottle with the real thing and inhaled a bottle of nitrous oxide?  Come to think of it, I think NOS is the only automotive brand that has successfully transitioned into the food and beverage industry.  Sure, there was Pennzoil 10W30 Cola and Firestone Pita Bread, but those didn’t last long.  Maybe if Pennzoil used a cola bottle that was different from their motor oil bottle it would’ve worked, but it was just jarring to see a kid on the street corner guzzling down a quart of Pennzoil.  Also, technically BP moved into the food industry when they covered a ton of the world’s seafood with their oil, but that wasn’t successful.  It didn’t go over very well at all.  Personally, I don’t think I’ll ever consume a food product manufactured by the same company that manufactures parts for Toyota Celicas.

Buzzfeed is basically saying “Twitter is dead, would you like to share this on Twitter?”

Buzzfeed is basically saying “Twitter is dead, would you like to share this on Twitter?”

Just based off of what I’ve seen him in, it’s really weird to see Neal McDonough in a Cadillac ad. I’ve only seen him in “Terriers” where he played a child molester and in “Justified” where he played a drug addicted-alcoholic-murdering-rapist-psychopathic-mobster. Now this guy wants to sell me a Cadillac? Cadillac will have to excuse me while my eyes adjust because the last time I saw his face he was freebasing OxyContin with prostitutes and getting in a gun battle with a barbecue king pin and a US Marshal where he got his arm chopped off. Spoiler alert.

I’ve never seen any of the “Iron Man” movies or had any desire to, but I have seen the last five minutes of “Iron Man 2” a half dozen times while watching FX just waiting for “Justified” to come on. It’s on every Tuesday. FX should change their slogan to “FX Has The Movies, As Long As Those Movies Are The Second Film In The Iron Man Series.”

Although it is good to see Garry Shandling back on TV for two of those five minutes every week.

#iron man   #fx   #justified  

Private detectives holding a guy hostage on a boat and interrogating him has now been done on two of my favorite TV shows, “Terriers,” and “True Detective.” Since “True Detective” is an anthology show, I think they should just make its second season be the second season of the canceled way too soon “Terriers.”

I read an article where Kristen Bell said the only “vice” she allows herself is green tea. What a coincidence, my only vice is eating healthy well balanced meals.

I always think it’s weird in movies and TV shows when a character is going undercover or trying to not look suspicious they put on a plain baseball hat.  If anything, this would make me more suspicious of the person.  Who wears a blank solid color hat?  I’ve literally never seen someone wearing a hat with nothing on it.  What, does this guy just like wearing hats?  He doesn’t want his hat to make a statement about a sports team?  He’s just a “hat guy?”  It’s all very suspicious, I think he’s trying to pull one over on me.  You know, I think it’s blank because he doesn’t know anything about sports.  He seems to have gone out of his way to avoid being questioned about the Atlanta Braves record by not wearing an Atlanta Braves hat.  I think he doesn’t know about sports because he spends all his time solving crimes AS A COP!  He’s a cop!  Are you wearing a wire?!

I always think it’s weird in movies and TV shows when a character is going undercover or trying to not look suspicious they put on a plain baseball hat. If anything, this would make me more suspicious of the person. Who wears a blank solid color hat? I’ve literally never seen someone wearing a hat with nothing on it. What, does this guy just like wearing hats? He doesn’t want his hat to make a statement about a sports team? He’s just a “hat guy?” It’s all very suspicious, I think he’s trying to pull one over on me. You know, I think it’s blank because he doesn’t know anything about sports. He seems to have gone out of his way to avoid being questioned about the Atlanta Braves record by not wearing an Atlanta Braves hat. I think he doesn’t know about sports because he spends all his time solving crimes AS A COP! He’s a cop! Are you wearing a wire?!

I’ve been watching The Sopranos for the first time recently. I’ve waited so long to watch it that everything is dated. It’s almost a period piece like “Mad Men,” but in the late ’90s. For example:

Tony buys his mom “one of these new CD players.” According to him they’re starting to put all the classics out on compact disc.

Tony says “Man, these laserdiscs are great, right?” Then they rob a truck full of DVD players.

Christopher robs a truck full of Pokemon cards.

Tony mecilessly beats a man with a Big Mouth Billy Bass. Also, Big Mouth Billy Bass plays into a large part of the story as symbolism.

Anthony Jr says “That’s phat.”

#the sopranos   #hbo   #TV   #television  
Jerry Seinfeld confirmed there will be a “Seinfeld” reunion after he was spotted filming in New York with Jason Alexander.  Most people are asking if it’s going to be a TV episode, a web video, or a commercial, but what I’m asking is if Jason Alexander had to shave off his new head of hair.  Assuming it’s not a toupee, would he take the risk of shaving off the hair that he probably spent a lot of money to be able to grow?  Because it might not grow back.  Or he could go the bald cap route.  Just think of the irony of a famously bald man wearing a bald cap.  Either way is bad.  He could lose all that money he spent on the team of scientists that grew his hair back, or he would have to walk around in a bald cap while knowing everyone is laughing at him for being a bald guy who thinks he isn’t bald.  It’s a tough decision, I don’t envy him.  Well, yeah, I do.  He’s probably a billionaire.  I’d definitely shave my head for some of that Jason Alexander Seinfeld syndication money.

Jerry Seinfeld confirmed there will be a “Seinfeld” reunion after he was spotted filming in New York with Jason Alexander. Most people are asking if it’s going to be a TV episode, a web video, or a commercial, but what I’m asking is if Jason Alexander had to shave off his new head of hair. Assuming it’s not a toupee, would he take the risk of shaving off the hair that he probably spent a lot of money to be able to grow? Because it might not grow back. Or he could go the bald cap route. Just think of the irony of a famously bald man wearing a bald cap. Either way is bad. He could lose all that money he spent on the team of scientists that grew his hair back, or he would have to walk around in a bald cap while knowing everyone is laughing at him for being a bald guy who thinks he isn’t bald. It’s a tough decision, I don’t envy him. Well, yeah, I do. He’s probably a billionaire. I’d definitely shave my head for some of that Jason Alexander Seinfeld syndication money.

I hope there’s a scene in “True Detective” where Rust is on a long rant when the screen goes black and says “Four Days Later,” then cuts back to Rust still ranting, only now with a full beard and a table full of 70 empty beer cans, hundreds of cigarette butts, and the two detectives sleeping.

I hope there’s a scene in “True Detective” where Rust is on a long rant when the screen goes black and says “Four Days Later,” then cuts back to Rust still ranting, only now with a full beard and a table full of 70 empty beer cans, hundreds of cigarette butts, and the two detectives sleeping.

This Sam Anderson guy must be a good actor.  On “Lost” he played the nicest guy on the island, and now on “Justified” he plays a mean guy that doesn’t go ten seconds without menacingly saying “Get this piece of white trash out of here!”

This Sam Anderson guy must be a good actor. On “Lost” he played the nicest guy on the island, and now on “Justified” he plays a mean guy that doesn’t go ten seconds without menacingly saying “Get this piece of white trash out of here!”

I’ve met a few people who say they don’t know how to read analog clocks.  The opposite is true for me, I can’t read digital clocks.  Like, what does this say?

I have no idea.  Whenever there’s a bomb in a movie, I’m like “How many seconds is left?”

But Seriously, if you can’t read an analog clock, you’re an idiot.  There’s no excuse.  You can teach yourself in two minutes.  There’s no book called Reading Clocks For Dummies, because it would be a flyer. 

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