In Memoriam
These celebrities didn’t die in 2011, but your memory of why they’re famous probably did.
Tim Tebow- Say what you will about Tim Tebow, but just keep in mind that I have no idea who that is.
Howard K. Stern- Howard Stern is best known for hosting his radio show with Robin Quivers, while Howard K Stern is known for hoisting his gun while robbin’ liquor stores. Well, not really, but who can remember what he did? I think he was one of the possible 243 men to impregnate Dog The Bounty Hunter’s wife or something? (May she rest in peace)
Bristol Palin- Currently, the Republican candidates are gearing up for one final push, as is Palin during the birth of her second illegitimate child.
Mike Tyson- Tyson has a reality show about pigeons, who he says are just like people, in case you were wondering whether or not he’s crazy. Tyson also donated a lot of money to Charity this year (Charity is the name of a stripper he beat senseless in 1987).
Ruben Studdard- This year, news came out about Ruben Studdard’s divorce. Also, news came out that Ruben Studdard was still alive.
Alfonso Ribeiro- better known as Carlton Banks, and nothing else.
Every Single Baldwin Brother Except Alec- One of them was on a reality show, so were the other ones, I guess.
Brian Dunkleman- The heir to the Dunkin Donuts fortune and former host of the first season of The Marriage Ref only committed career suicide, not actual suicide, thankfully.
Paul Reiser- April 14th, 2011-April 22nd, 2011. The whole crowd from the Florida Marlin’s stadium showed up to watch The Paul Reiser Show. Unfortunately, that was only 3 dudes and a sleeping dog.
Bill O’Reilly- In 2011, Bill O’Reilly went on a comedy tour with Dennis Miller. Yep, Bill O’Reilly went on a comedy tour with Dennis Miller, because apparently he’s a comedian now. Which brings us to our next person…
Dennis Miller- In 2011, Dennis Miller went on a comedy tour with Bill O’Reilly. That pretty much sums up where Dennis Miller’s career is at now: on a comedy tour with Bill O’Reilly. It actually sounds like one of his jokes, “I was eatin’ some Funyuns backstage at Saskatoon’s Bill O’Reilly Comedy Tour Extravaganza when all of a sudden I realized I wasn’t Livin’ La Vida Loca.”
Carson Daly- Last Call with Carson Daly is like your upstairs neighbor: you’ve never seen him, but you know he must exist. Daly’s like the second rate-slightly straighter version of Ryan Seacrest, who is the 100th rate Dick Clark, who is the 150th rate Regis Philbin.
The Crispy M&M- As Pretzel M&M’s took over, poor ‘Ol Crispy faded into obscurity and hasn’t been seen since. It’s been rumored that he’s disguised himself as an Advil and has been hiding out in the medicine aisle of your local Ollie’s Bargain Outlet.
