It's Dan's Blog.

I found an article on Yahoo, and realized that this is what constitutes as actual news today: Daughters of former vice presidential candidates riding mechanical bulls. 

The article is about how Bristol Palin and her son are moving back to Alaska after growing tired of the Hollywood lifestyle of desperately begging for attention.  Here’s an excerpt:

“The 21-year-old mom reveals that she decided it was time to leave the Lower 48 in September 2011, when, while riding a mechanical bull at the Saddle Ranch bar in L.A., she was confronted by a man who took issue with her mother’s politics.”

I’m sure all mothers have been there, right?  Drunkenly riding a mechanical bull at the local Saddle Ranch bar and getting into political fights? They haven’t?  She’s just a bad mother and person in general?

This situation sounds like the plot of some country-western indie movie, “I was drunk on the mechanical bull when I realized this just wasn’t the life for me and my son.” 

Oh yeah, they forgot to mention that she had her own camera crew following her.  She just hates attention so much!  Palin said “I wasn’t really into the Hollywood thing, after that, I just realized that I was over it. I was ready to come home.”  Yep, she’s so tired of Hollywood that she’s giving an interview to Hollywood about being tired of Hollywood.

“She also wanted to raise her 3-year-old son, Tripp, in her hometown of Wasilla. “When we’re here, Tripp is outside all the time … his cheeks are always bright red!”“

His cheeks are bright red because he is freezing to death in Alaska, let him inside, woman!  Okay, to be fair, maybe he’s just blushing because she has a camera crew filming him while being potty trained.  

“Bristol — who is currently working as a receptionist at a dermatologist’s office in Anchorage — and her little boy reside on the Palin family’s property in an apartment under Sarah’s TV studio.”

Basically, Bristol Palin is like the kids who live in their parent’s basement, only that she lives in the basement of her parent’s TV studio. She lives such a tough life, you guys. 

“As for Tripp’s daddy, Levi Johnston, that’s another story. “He’s not using his visitation, and he’s not paying his child support,” Bristol sighs.”

Now let’s recall Palin’s relationship with this man:  They got drunk on wine coolers and had sex in a tent.  Then Palin implies that he raped her so she could sell more copies of her biography.  You know, I’m sure he tried to come visit this lovely family at some point, it was just that he tried to visit while Bristol was out getting drunk on wine coolers while riding a mechanical bull. 

YAHOO BREAKING NEWS UPDATE:  Sarah Palin has a new hair cut!!!

WHY IS TOM BROKAW NOT ANNOUNCING THIS??  Shouldn’t they be interrupting the regularly scheduled programs for this shocking news?