It's Dan's Blog.

Believe it or not, Burger King starting a delivery service and Paula Deen getting diabetes are two completely unrelated stories.  Although they are somewhat related, due to the fact that ordering Burger King will give you diabetes. 

Burger King is testing out it’s home delivery service in several states in the hopes that it will catch on like pizza deliveries.  Home delivery does solve one major problem: people who want to eat a Whopper will no longer have to walk into a filthy Burger King.  They can just sit on their sofa watching Paula Deen while waiting for the delivery man.  Burger King does say that there will be a minimum purchase of $10, but that’s probably not a problem for people too lazy to get up and drive to Burger King.  It’s unlikely that they’ll be like “Oh, I don’t see anything else I want to order besides that $5 salad.” 

Burger King official Jonathan Fitzpatrick says that they have developed a new delivery technology called “proprietary thermal packaging technology.”  This technology will “ensure the Whopper is delivered hot and fresh, and the french fries are delivered hot and crispy.”  This is opposed to the normal method of ordering your food at the store, which leaves the Whopper mushy and cold and the french fries soft and droopy. 

In other unhealthy news, celebrity chef Paula Deen announced that she was diagnosed with Diabetes and will be teaming up with the diabetes drug Novo Nordisk to be their spokesperson.  When Deen found out she had diabetes, she said “I wasn’t about to change to my life, but I have made simple changes in my life, like cutting back on one of my favorites things, sweet tea, and for a Southern girl, that’s a big deal.”  Yeah, Deen has cut down from Burger King’s 64oz sweet tea to the 32oz, which could effect her minimum $10 delivery order. 

Deen also said that she will continue to cook buttery recipes because it’s entertaining and the show only lasts 30 days out of the year.  Deen failed to take in account that those 30 days of entertaining buttery recipes GAVE HER DIABETES. 

Still no word yet on how Paula Deen’s diabetes spokesmanship will effect Wilford Brimley.