Person Of The Year
The “It’s Dan’s Blog” Person Of The Year award goes to that monkey from all those TV shows, Crystal The Monkey. Sure, it might be weird that the Person Of The Year isn’t a person, but monkeys are people too, right? PETA would agree that I’m a person treating this animal ethically and that I don’t discriminate in terms of species for meaningless fake awards on the Internet.
If you’re like me and not familiar with Crystal The Monkey at all, that’s because you have decent taste in TV shows and movies and don’t watch things with monkeys in them. You may have not seen her in projects like Night At The Museum, The Hangover II, Zookeeper, We Bought A Zoo, Animal Practice and this blog post. If you do have decent taste, you may have seen this monkey on Community. That’s right, this monkey gets more work than Paul Reiser (Person Of The Year runner-up), but a little bit less than Whitney Cummings.
In case you were feeling good about the amount of money you make, Crystal The Monkey made $12,000 an episode on Animal Practice. So, yeah, a monkey made more money in one week than you’ll make in months. Also, apparently monkeys can spend money now.
I’ll leave you with this somewhat insulting to humans quote from Ken Jeong, actor in Community and Hangover II:
“She’s amazing. She’s not a monkey, she’s an actor. And quite possibly the best actor I’ve worked with.”