Happy Non Denominational Seasonal Holiday to everyone, or Christmas to be more specific.
Here’s some things I won’t get for Christmas:
- Workman’s comp for that week I was immobilized due to consuming a KFC Double Down while on the job.
- Episode 3 of The Paul Reiser Show
- A flag that says “God Hates Flags.”
- Justice for OJ Simpson by tracking down and capturing the elusive criminal mastermind who shamelessly framed OJ for brutally murdering Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman.
- Episode 4 of The Paul Reiser Show
- The Presto Fry Daddy Deep Fryer and The DR Field And Brush Mower. Sure, it’d be fun to fry some meats and mow some lawns, but I just don’t think anyone’s gonna buy them for me.
- Episode 5 of The Paul Reiser Show
- Another thing on this list of “Things I Won’t Get For Christmas.”
Anyway, be sure to remember the real reason for the season, the birth of baby Regis. Is this where you want to be when Regis comes back? Oh, I meant to say Jesus. Wow, Regis is on TV too much even when he’s “retired.”