Brian Dunkleman does stand up.
You know, Brian Dunkleman? That guy from the first season of American Idol? Yeah, that guy. Ryan Seacrest just made $25 million in the time it took you to remember who Brian Dunkleman is.
I’d say that he’s funnier than Ryan Seacrest, but then again so is 95% of the population.
Since the Internet doesn’t have a laugh track like popular television sitcoms, it’s hard to tell if something is supposed to be funny. Well, now that problem is solved with The Kevin Eubanks Laugh Activation Indicator. With the Kevin Eubanks Laugh Activation Indicator you’ll never have to worry if you should be laughing at something again, Kevin Eubanks’ image will just pop up on your screen and tell you exactly how funny something is. Through a patented 2 Stage Laugh Activation Process, The Laugh Indicator will determine when something is “Funny,” or “Super Funny,” and tell you exactly how much to laugh so you can fully enjoy the hilariousness that is the website you happen to be reading.
UPDATE: Now officially endorsed by Kevin Eubanks through a re-tweet on Twitter.
The Battle of the Ken Burns Comedies
I consider Community to have some of the most creative and original episode formats on television, however, I can’t say the same about last week’s Ken Burns Civil War documentary spoof “Pillows and Blankets (Part 2).” I see people writing how genius it was, but it seems everyone forgot that Jimmy Kimmel did the exact same thing a few years ago during the Conan vs Leno thing in his video The Late Night War:
Even though the set up is the same, Community's episode if full of enough great jokes that I don't consider it an issue. I hadn't seen anyone point this out yet, so now consider it pointed out. I just hope I don't get a voicemail from Chevy Chase that's an obscenity-laced tirade or have Dan Harmon lead an offensive chant against me. Also, lets hope Jimmy Kimmel didn't see the episode, he's looking awfully angry and suspicious in that hoodie:
Now go watch Community so it doesn’t get canceled.
Good One, Jay.
Good one, Jay!
*cue guitar solo*
This has been Good One, Jay, where a photo of Kevin Eubanks sarcastically says “Good one, Jay” in response to one of Jay Leno’s bad monologue jokes posted to Twitter.
In News That Sounds Like A “Work It” Spinoff…
The Late Show with David Letterman recently fired their stand up booker Eddie Brill for only booking one female comedian last year and saying that women comedians weren’t “authentic.” ABC already canceled their terrible show Work It, but if it was successful you could bet that this would be the premise of a spinoff: Two women comedians struggling to make it in the man’s world of comedy disguise themselves as men in order to get booked on The Late Show by Eddie Brill. They could’ve called it Book It, and maybe it would’ve lasted two and a half episodes before it was protested and rightfully yanked off the schedule.
Stuff I Found Funny A Week Ago (9)
Here’s some stuff that was funny last week.
(Now with embedded videos because I finally know how to embed videos now.)
- Tracy Morgan is hunting for Big Foot. Too bad he’s not hunting for Big Chin, who he was sitting right next to (here).
- What is it, 2004? Napoleon Dynamite was on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (here).
- Portlandia is back on, and still funny (here).
- Delocated is finally coming back and it’s finally going to be on DVD:
- Eastbound & Down’s going to be set in Myrtle Beach this year, which sounds pretty funny if you’ve ever been to Myrtle Beach:
- Tim Meadows on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson:
- Will Arnett’s on like 10 different shows, plus he’s on Letterman:
- Tina Fey on Letterman:
- Mindy Kaling on Conan (here).
- David Cross takes forever to set up a clip on Conan (here).
- Jake Fogelnest’s hateful recap of Work It (here).
- Paul Rudd on Parks and Rec is perfect. Try saying that 10 times in a row (here).
- David Letterman’s been tweeting. Just look for the tweets that make no sense and those will be the ones he wrote (here).
- My Blog! Hiyoooo!!!
Stuff I Found Funny A Week Ago (8)
I know your New Year’s resolution was probably to visit my blog more, so I’m bringing back “Stuff I Found Funny A Week Ago.” Well, it’s more like “Stuff I Found Funny Last Year” if you want to get technical about it.
- Splitsider recapped 2011’s best humor writing (here).
- For some reason, Will Ferrell made ads for Old Milwaukee (here).
- David Wain’s Wainy Days is finally back, and with great guest stars like Ken Marino, Lizzy Caplan, Jorma Taccone, Steven Weber, and Erinn Hayes (here).
- You can’t complain about Conan not being absurd enough, with The Human Centipede Menorah (here), and Minty The Candy Cane Who Briefly Fell On The Ground (here). Also, don’t miss Conan give Jon Hamm as a present (here).
- You should make a tradition of watching the Christmas tradition of Jay Thomas and David Letterman throwing footballs at a meatball tree (here), and Thomas telling Letterman his Lone Ranger story (here). Then check out Letterman testing out Holiday toys (here).
- Marc Maron was on Conan (here). Plus, he’s had a ton of good guests on his podcast lately: Michael Ian Black (here), Donald Glover (here), Merrill Markoe (here), Adam Scott (here).
- Late Night With Jimmy Fallon's blog has a post with all of the year's best interviews (here).
- Seth and Josh Meyers were on Late Night (Part 1, Part 2)
- A chart of who actually mentions Kwanzaa (here).
- The voices of Death on Family Guy were together: Norm MacDonald on The Adam Carolla Show (here).
- Howard Stern drunk dialed his Twitter followers (here).
Christmas With The Lettermans
I remember I watched this last year, it’s pretty funny. David Letterman had a whole group of actors playing his family for the entire show back when he didn’t even have a wife and kids.
Even though most late night talk shows have some good stuff, this makes me wonder why nobody does something unexpected like this today. Somebody needs to break the monotony of monologue/sketch/guests/music. Even though this has all those things, it’s something different.
(There’s five other parts too)
I can’t believe ABC’s Work It is an actual TV show. It looks like a parody of a horrible sitcom you would see on Funny Or Die. The only thing that could make it any hackier is if the guys in drag somehow magically swap bodies with each other.
Their tagline should be “And You Thought Whitney Was Bad.”
7 Things Every Bowling Alley Should Have
Here’s a thing I wrote that got published on PointsInCase.com
Decor From 1972
Perhaps the most crucial part of a classic bowling alley is it’s décor that has remained unchanged from Carson to Leno to Conan and back to Leno again. Chances are you can find a picture of your parents at the bowling alley before you were born and the bowling alley will look exactly the same, only gently aged. Your Dad’s massive mustache and bell bottoms might have gone out of style but that classic 1970’s bowling alley look didn’t.
A Foul Yet Pleasant Smell
It’s not a bowling alley if it doesn’t smell. There’s something oddly comforting about the aroma of aerosol spray and second hand smoke all mixed together. No matter where you go in the building, you should always smell the faint aroma of used shoes in the distance. To sum it all up, when you leave the bowling alley people should tell you “You smell like a bowling alley.”
Old White Guys
Every bowling alley has a group of old republicans with bad comb-overs. They chain smoke, drink pitchers of beer, and sneak liquor in to the premises. They will say things that will sound offensive to people born after 1955. Conversation topics include “blacks”, who got the most women in 1952, Moose Lodges, and “that damned techno-whatever”. Preferably, these old guys should have cool names like Stan and E.Z. and take league matches way too seriously.
The concession stand will be run by a lady who looks like she could be your grandma, except that she has a partial goatee. All of the food on the menu will be fried and all of it will be surprisingly nasty. The most popular items will be cheese fries, cheap Miller High Life beer, and burnt coffee. You know it’s not a sport if you can eat cheese fries while you’re in the middle of the action.
Computer Scoring System From 1982
The scoring system will look like a giant Atari game from the 80’s. It will break after every 5 rolls. There will be an intercom button that you press to talk to the front desk for help, however, you will not be able to hear them and they will not be able to hear you. The keyboard of the system will have it’s letters and numbers worn away from decades of use, making the machine basically useless. There will also be a giant television with the scores on it hanging from the ceiling. It’s so large and so old, you will worry about it falling on you and killing you while you’re taking a handful of cheese fries.
Maybe discos went out of style in the 70’s, but like the alley’s décor, it remains a steadfast fixture of the bowling alley. Just one night a week they turn down the lights and turn up the Funkadelic, switch on the strobe lights, and turn on the disco ball. Disco night brings in the most business, with creepy weirdos, drunk while high teenagers, and little kids birthday parties all showing up.
People That Take Their Big Lebowski Obsession Too Far
Everyone loves The Big Lebowski, but some love it too much. These people dress in bathrobes, drink White Russians and Miller Genuine Drafts all day, smoke pot on the drive to the alley, and use the term “dude” an unhealthy number of times. Also, after every roll they will shout “OVER THE LINE!! MARK IT ZERO!!” They dress like The Dude, Walter, and Donny, and never break character. These people must have learned method acting from DeNiro, unfortunately, they don’t have the wit of Jeff Bridges or John Goodman and are far too drunk to bowl a decent game.