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Posts tagged with donald trump.

Donald Trump: Expert Human

Judging by Donald Trump’s Twitter page, he is an all around expert at everything.  See for yourself:

Donald Trump: Construction Expert!

Donald Trump: Ratings Expert!

Donald Trump: Relationship Expert!

Donald Trump: Medical Expert!

Donald Trump: Football Expert!

Donald Trump: Legal Expert!

Donald Trump: Medical and “Environment” Expert!

Donald Trump: Dieting Expert!

Donald Trump: Graphic Design Expert!

Donald Trump: Comedy Expert!

Donald Trump: Graphic Design Expert!

Donald Trump: Meteorology Expert!

Donald Trump: Beauty Expert!

Trump Addresses Your Main Hurricane Related Concern - The 13th Season Of Celebrity Apprentice

          

I know that when everyone heard that Hurricane Sandy was coming, their first thought was, “I really hope this doesn’t effect Celebrity Apprentice.”  I’m also sure that when everyone read the articles about bodies of children and elderly people being found, their first thought was “Why won’t Trump hurry up and tell us how this storm will effect Celebrity Apprentice already?”  Well, in between tweets insulting the President for helping those effected by Hurricane Sandy, he FINALLY tweeted about how this storm will effect the 13th season of Celebrity Apprentice: The filming will be adjusted.

DON’T WORRY EVERYONE!  Everything is going to be okay.  CALM DOWN!  He tweeted that all the mega-celebrities like Dennis Rodman and Bret Michaels are going to be okay.  Sure, people may have died horrific deaths, but wouldn’t they want you to carry on their memory by watching Celebrity Apprentice, March 3rd at 9/8c on NBC? I think a dose of Gary Busey and Stephen Baldwin is what everyone needs during these trying times. 

"All-Star Celebrity Apprentice- It’s Going To Be Huge, Like My Ego."

Two Truths And A Lie: Celebrity Edition

These celebrities were playing “Two Truths and a Lie,” but it turns out they’re not very good at it.

Drew Peterson:

I murdered my third wife.

I murdered my fourth wife.

I am innocent of all charges.

Mitt Romney:

Many of my good friends are NFL team owners.

Many of my good friends are NASCAR team owners.

I’m just a normal guy, not rich at all.

Kim Kardashian:

I don’t understand how this game works, like, is it on TV?

No really, what am I supposed to do?

I’m getting paid for this, right?

Rick Santorum:

I am homophobic.

I am sexist.

I was born in Indonesia. 

Charlie Sheen:

I snorted coke with a prostitute last night and smoked crack with a porn star this morning.

I smoked crack with a prostitute this morning and snorted coke with a porn star last night.

The only thing I’m addicted to is winning.

Donald Trump:

I lure homeless men to my 1,000 acre property and hunt them for sport, I call it “Trumping,” then I extract hair from my victims and surgically insert the hair into my scalp using a top dollar surgical team with degrees from America’s finest universities. 

I vlog on the YouTube.

I lure homeless men to my 1,00 acre property and hunt them for sport, but I don’t call it “Trumping,” and I use a low budget surgical team to insert the dead hobo’s hair into my scalp…no, wait…..I meant to say I have a show on NBC called The Apprentice.  Yeah, I definitely don’t lure homeless men to my property with the promise of a new life, and then violently murder them for sport.  That one was the lie, for sure.  So just to be clear, I vlog on the YouTube and have a show on NBC, those are the truths, and I definitely do not, under any circumstances, kill homeless men for my pleasure. 

Forre$t Trump
The story of an attention seeking man who, over the course of three decades, gains money and fame but is eluded by his two true loves: being taken seriously and having a decent haircut. 

Forre$t Trump

The story of an attention seeking man who, over the course of three decades, gains money and fame but is eluded by his two true loves: being taken seriously and having a decent haircut. 

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