I always think it’s weird in movies and TV shows when a character is going undercover or trying to not look suspicious they put on a plain baseball hat. If anything, this would make me more suspicious of the person. Who wears a blank solid color hat? I’ve literally never seen someone wearing a hat with nothing on it. What, does this guy just like wearing hats? He doesn’t want his hat to make a statement about a sports team? He’s just a “hat guy?” It’s all very suspicious, I think he’s trying to pull one over on me. You know, I think it’s blank because he doesn’t know anything about sports. He seems to have gone out of his way to avoid being questioned about the Atlanta Braves record by not wearing an Atlanta Braves hat. I think he doesn’t know about sports because he spends all his time solving crimes AS A COP! He’s a cop! Are you wearing a wire?!
I’ve been watching The Sopranos for the first time recently. I’ve waited so long to watch it that everything is dated. It’s almost a period piece like “Mad Men,” but in the late ’90s. For example:
Tony buys his mom “one of these new CD players.” According to him they’re starting to put all the classics out on compact disc.
Tony says “Man, these laserdiscs are great, right?” Then they rob a truck full of DVD players.
Christopher robs a truck full of Pokemon cards.
Tony mecilessly beats a man with a Big Mouth Billy Bass. Also, Big Mouth Billy Bass plays into a large part of the story as symbolism.
Anthony Jr says “That’s phat.”
Jerry Seinfeld confirmed there will be a “Seinfeld” reunion after he was spotted filming in New York with Jason Alexander. Most people are asking if it’s going to be a TV episode, a web video, or a commercial, but what I’m asking is if Jason Alexander had to shave off his new head of hair. Assuming it’s not a toupee, would he take the risk of shaving off the hair that he probably spent a lot of money to be able to grow? Because it might not grow back. Or he could go the bald cap route. Just think of the irony of a famously bald man wearing a bald cap. Either way is bad. He could lose all that money he spent on the team of scientists that grew his hair back, or he would have to walk around in a bald cap while knowing everyone is laughing at him for being a bald guy who thinks he isn’t bald. It’s a tough decision, I don’t envy him. Well, yeah, I do. He’s probably a billionaire. I’d definitely shave my head for some of that Jason Alexander Seinfeld syndication money.
I hope there’s a scene in “True Detective” where Rust is on a long rant when the screen goes black and says “Four Days Later,” then cuts back to Rust still ranting, only now with a full beard and a table full of 70 empty beer cans, hundreds of cigarette butts, and the two detectives sleeping.
People are always talking about who wore it best, well, I’m not and nobody I know is, but I assume people on TV and the Internet are. So get ready to debate who wore THESE best:
Which fictional character from a television show wore a stupid hat the best? George Costanza from Seinfeld, or Lane Pryce from Mad Men?
Which crazy person wore a Carhartt jacket best, Limehouse from Justified or Rick Perry?
Which fictional character from a television show ate ribs the best and/or wore the BBQ sauce the best? Frank Underwood from House of Cards, or Alex from Happy Endings?
Everyone go settle this debate with a heated argument, I’m gonna go do something else.
What The Documentary Crew On “The Office” Must’ve Been Thinking
Season 9 Episode 2, Roy’s Wedding
Instead of reading another pointless recap of The Office, why not just read what the unseen documentary crew must have been thinking?
"I thought Andy said last week that he wanted to fire Nellie as soon as possible. So why exactly didn’t he just fire her when she came in brandishing that massive meat cleaver?"
"Oh, really Jim? You’re depressed about being a paper salesman? Imagine being the guy that’s had to film you every day for nine years. I mean, what am I doing with my life? Instead of having a life of my own I have to film you living your life, which is basically just you sitting around and eating tuna sandwiches every day. I had dreams once! I was going to film rock stars and big time politicians, not some mid-level paper salesman jerk! I need a damn drink!"
"Shouldn’t we warn Erin that the new Clark dude is basically a stage one serial rapist? No? You want me to go over and film them? That seems a little weird. Well, come to think of it, I guess it’s not really any weirder than that time you made me stand outside the door and record Dwight and Angela having sex."
"Seriously? I have to stand here and film Dwight and Nellie watching movies for three hours? I can’t even watch the movie, I have to stand here and watch them watch it. This is literally the worst thing I can imagine. I hate Darrell so much right now, he just had to bring in that DVD. Well, so much for seeing my kids tonight. Can’t I at least get a chair?”
"Should I tell Angela that her husband is gay and cheating on her with Oscar? I mean, we do have videographic proof, after all. Is videographic a word? I don’t know."
"Roy didn’t invite me to his wedding but now they’re making me go film Jim and Pam at his wedding at 8 AM on a weekday. This is going to be awkward. By the way, who invites the guy who broke up your last wedding to your new wedding? Roy, that’s who. Gravel for brains. What did I ever do that he wouldn’t invite me? Anyway, guess I won’t get to see my kids this morning either.”
You didn’t watch his version of Curb Your Enthusiasm entitled The Paul Reiser Show. You also probably won’t watch his version of Louie entitled Paulie, but he made it anyway. Coming soon to NBC, the series directed by, written by, produced by, key gripped by, and food serviced by Paul Reiser starring Paul Reiser, Paulie.
Only on NBC: We peacock comedy.
Mad Men’s Drinks Replaced With Fanta
In the new James Bond movie, they have Bond switch from martinis to Heineken because Heineken funded the movie. Also, in reruns of How I Met Your Mother, they digitally insert ads for new movies in the background. Even worse than both of those, in recent Mad Men reruns, all the characters have switched from alcohol to Fanta, and Fanta is featured heavily in every scene.
Some of the changes:
Roger’s new drink order: “Fanta, easy on the ice.”
Don’s new drink order: “Big and orange.”
Peggy thinks “Would she think I’m racist if I brought out some Grape Fantas? Guess I better stick with orange.”
"It’s caffeine free, so I’m gonna go sleep in my office now."
Megan: “Is this thing on? Oh, it’s a bottle of Fanta? Okay, I’ll sing anyway!”
"Don’t go, I got it, I got it..uhhh, Fanta Orange Soda: the cure for the common orange soda. What? This is the Life Cereal meeting? Okay, okay, I got it, Life Cereal: the cure for the common breakfast cereal…Roger, I’m done!!!"
Ever notice they never cut away from Joan walking out of a room? So did Fanta. Kind of offensive ad placement if you ask me.
Now Joan’s like “Uhh, boys…eyes down here on my giant Fanta logo.”
Come on, Don swimming in Fanta? That just seems like product placement overload.
Way outta line! I didn’t pay a $100 cable bill for a 40 minute long Fanta ad.
The Battle of the Ken Burns Comedies
I consider Community to have some of the most creative and original episode formats on television, however, I can’t say the same about last week’s Ken Burns Civil War documentary spoof “Pillows and Blankets (Part 2).” I see people writing how genius it was, but it seems everyone forgot that Jimmy Kimmel did the exact same thing a few years ago during the Conan vs Leno thing in his video The Late Night War:
Even though the set up is the same, Community's episode if full of enough great jokes that I don't consider it an issue. I hadn't seen anyone point this out yet, so now consider it pointed out. I just hope I don't get a voicemail from Chevy Chase that's an obscenity-laced tirade or have Dan Harmon lead an offensive chant against me. Also, lets hope Jimmy Kimmel didn't see the episode, he's looking awfully angry and suspicious in that hoodie:
Now go watch Community so it doesn’t get canceled.