People are always talking about who wore it best, well, I’m not and nobody I know is, but I assume people on TV and the Internet are. So get ready to debate who wore THESE best:
Which fictional character from a television show wore a stupid hat the best? George Costanza from Seinfeld, or Lane Pryce from Mad Men?
Which crazy person wore a Carhartt jacket best, Limehouse from Justified or Rick Perry?
Which fictional character from a television show ate ribs the best and/or wore the BBQ sauce the best? Frank Underwood from House of Cards, or Alex from Happy Endings?
Everyone go settle this debate with a heated argument, I’m gonna go do something else.
Homeland is one of the best shows on TV, but I have to say that I didn’t think this scene was very realistic. I mean, a terrorist is being interrogated in the other room and Carrie and Saul are just sitting around watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond? Hey, I love Raymond as much as the next guy but get your priorities straight, watch the interrogation. Plus they’ve got like four different episodes playing, probably one on WGN, one on TBS, one on The CW, or maybe The Hallmark Channel. Ray Romano just made $2 million in syndication while you were reading that sentence. But you’ve gotta admit that’s a pretty sweet set-up they’ve got there.
I also thought that interrogation scene was really bizarre. The interrogator brought out that laptop and said “I’ve got something I’d like you to watch,” then just started playing the pilot of Men Of A Certain Age. Then he left the room and was like “Let him suck on that.” I thought Men of A Certain Age was a great show, although, I suppose it would be a shock to a guy who lived in a hole for 8 years replaying episodes of Raymond in his head. Men Of A Certain Age was kind of depressing, which is why Brody started crying, I guess? I don’t know, I’m confused.
Anyway, it was a really weird episode. I’m starting to think someone altered the video in my download or something.
What The Documentary Crew On “The Office” Must’ve Been Thinking
Season 9 Episode 2, Roy’s Wedding
Instead of reading another pointless recap of The Office, why not just read what the unseen documentary crew must have been thinking?
“I thought Andy said last week that he wanted to fire Nellie as soon as possible. So why exactly didn’t he just fire her when she came in brandishing that massive meat cleaver?”
“Oh, really Jim? You’re depressed about being a paper salesman? Imagine being the guy that’s had to film you every day for nine years. I mean, what am I doing with my life? Instead of having a life of my own I have to film you living your life, which is basically just you sitting around and eating tuna sandwiches every day. I had dreams once! I was going to film rock stars and big time politicians, not some mid-level paper salesman jerk! I need a damn drink!”
“Shouldn’t we warn Erin that the new Clark dude is basically a stage one serial rapist? No? You want me to go over and film them? That seems a little weird. Well, come to think of it, I guess it’s not really any weirder than that time you made me stand outside the door and record Dwight and Angela having sex.”
“Seriously? I have to stand here and film Dwight and Nellie watching movies for three hours? I can’t even watch the movie, I have to stand here and watch them watch it. This is literally the worst thing I can imagine. I hate Darrell so much right now, he just had to bring in that DVD. Well, so much for seeing my kids tonight. Can’t I at least get a chair?”
“Should I tell Angela that her husband is gay and cheating on her with Oscar? I mean, we do have videographic proof, after all. Is videographic a word? I don’t know.”
“Roy didn’t invite me to his wedding but now they’re making me go film Jim and Pam at his wedding at 8 AM on a weekday. This is going to be awkward. By the way, who invites the guy who broke up your last wedding to your new wedding? Roy, that’s who. Gravel for brains. What did I ever do that he wouldn’t invite me? Anyway, guess I won’t get to see my kids this morning either.”
I assume he’s referring to his post-Seinfeld projects. Yeah, BURN!!
(Instead of saying “BURN!” next time, start saying “THE BURN WITH JEFF ROSS!!!” really loud in a Gilbert Gottfried-like voice. Maybe it’ll catch on.)
Internet Appalled That 68 Year Old Man Doesn’t Find “Community” To Be Greatest Creation In The History Of Man
The nation was enraged yesterday when a balding 68 year old multimillionaire named Chevy Chase implied in an interview from February that his TV series Community wasn’t the culmination of centuries of human struggle which led to its unlikely creation and need to be worshiped. Of course, by nation, I mean the under 1 million people who watch Community on a weekly basis and found time to read the interview on the UK version of The Huffington Post. Also, by enraged, I mean falsely angered due to several websites’ manipulation of the interview.
Websites Gawker, Vulture, and Splitsider all basically called Chase a waste of air/human garbage for not possessing the exact same sense of humor as their target demographic. Gawker, trying to gain page views like always, takes all of Chase’s quotes out of context and calls him an asshole in the headline. I know a guy who finds Two and a Half Men to be the funniest thing ever. I don’t agree in the slightest, but I also don’t write an article and insult him in the headline for not having the same tastes in entertainment as I do. Gawker includes Chase’s remarks about the set being boring to look at, but leaves out that the reason he said that was because he was complimenting the uniqueness of the paintball episodes.
Vulture says that Chase talked about money for an uncomfortable amount of time. Well, yeah he’s going to talk about money when he’s asked “Is there anything you’ve ever blown a lot of money on?” He also talks about money when he says he works a job (Community) to make money to provide for his family. If that makes him money obsessed, I suppose all working people with families are money obsessed.
Splitsider and Gawker both say Chase made a degrading remark about Louis CK, which could possibly be true. Chase is quoted as saying the following:
“I wouldn’t in any way make a degrading remark about Louis CK, but the question is do I think anyone is funny? And the answer is not too many people. He might fit right in there.”
So how does Splitsider know what “there” means? Chase could be saying that CK fits into the funny category or the unfunny category. There’s really no way of telling. Even if he doesn’t find CK to be funny, that’s okay. Humor is subjective, and I don’t expect a guy old enough to be a grandfather to have the same sense of humor as me. I’d also applaud him for being honest. There’s enough liars in Hollywood, specifically the ones that said The Marriage Ref was going to be good because they were guests on it. Also, did anyone consider he might be joking? He is a comedian, which is a professional jokester, and Splitsider is the website that thought Colin Quinn’s Twitter was serious.
Mostly, they all seem to be most upset with this quote:
The hours are hideous, and it’s still a sitcom on television, which is probably the lowest form of television. That’s my feeling about it. I think the reason I have stuck around is because I love these kids, the cast - they are very good. It’s not like I am working with the great innovators of all time, but at the same time, they are my friends
Yeah, what a jerk, referring to the cast as “very good” and his “friends.” Also, “not the greatest innovators of all time?” Uh, excuse me Chevy, but when I think of innovators, I think of Martin Luther King Jr, Steve Jobs, and Joel McHale. How dare a former movie star who probably hasn’t watched television since 1976 not consider a secondary role on a television sitcom to be a step up! How on Earth can he not prefer working more hours for less money?
We all know Chevy Chase is most likely a jerk and Community is a great TV show. Neither of those are news. What is news is these websites’ hatred towards Chevy Chase. I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it, I’m just saying he doesn’t deserve it for this interview. Plus, he pretty much said all of the exact same stuff about Community months ago.
To sum it all up, slow news day:
You didn’t watch his version of Curb Your Enthusiasm entitled The Paul Reiser Show. You also probably won’t watch his version of Louie entitled Paulie, but he made it anyway. Coming soon to NBC, the series directed by, written by, produced by, key gripped by, and food serviced by Paul Reiser starring Paul Reiser, Paulie.
Only on NBC: We peacock comedy.
Leaked Images From “Breaking Bad” Finale
Julian Assange just sent me these LEAKED images from the series finale of Breaking Bad:
WOW, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED??!!!!!!
TALK ABOUT A SPOILER ALERT! I can’t believe that guy died.
Man, this finale is INSANE.
Here it is, the final shot of the series:
If you think those images are crazy, wait until you see the first 10 minutes of the episode that just leaked:
Thanks Julian Assange.
“Simpsons Did It.”
Isn’t the relationship between The Killing’s Darren Richmond and Jamie basically the same as the relationship between Mr Burns and Smithers from The Simpsons? What I mean is that Jamie/Smithers is unhealthily obsessed with Richmond/Burns. Jamie just hangs around his paralyzed former boss’ hospital room all day, which makes me think one of the nurses should be like “Get a job, hippie!” or “What state did you two get married in?”
There was a scene a couple of episodes ago where Jamie tries to help the paralyzed Richmond out of bed and they fall on the floor on top of each other, which I’m guessing has probably been a Smithers fantasy before. So how many episodes until Jamie gives Richmond a sponge bath? That will be the episode where I say “I’m not watching this anymore” and really mean it. Not that there’s anything wrong with a sponge bath between consenting adult fictional characters, but I personally don’t want to watch that, because what does it have to do with the killing? You know, The Killing? The name of the TV show that is about a killing? Yeah, it used to be about solving a killing instead of being about someone with nothing to do with the killing poking his leg and saying “Welp, still paralyzed” in his Batman voice.
I can’t figure out why these two characters are still on the show. It was proven last season that Richmond didn’t kill Laura Palmer…oops, I mean Rosie Larsen, so why is he featured heavily in every episode of a show called The Killing when he is not the killer? I mean, the show’s not called The Two Men Moping Around A Hospital Room. Actually, a better name might be The Raining. Judging by The Killing, it’s been raining in Seattle non-stop for 23 straight days.
Mad Men’s Drinks Replaced With Fanta
In the new James Bond movie, they have Bond switch from martinis to Heineken because Heineken funded the movie. Also, in reruns of How I Met Your Mother, they digitally insert ads for new movies in the background. Even worse than both of those, in recent Mad Men reruns, all the characters have switched from alcohol to Fanta, and Fanta is featured heavily in every scene.
Some of the changes:
Roger’s new drink order: “Fanta, easy on the ice.”
Don’s new drink order: “Big and orange.”
Peggy thinks “Would she think I’m racist if I brought out some Grape Fantas? Guess I better stick with orange.”
“It’s caffeine free, so I’m gonna go sleep in my office now.”
Megan: “Is this thing on? Oh, it’s a bottle of Fanta? Okay, I’ll sing anyway!”
“Don’t go, I got it, I got it..uhhh, Fanta Orange Soda: the cure for the common orange soda. What? This is the Life Cereal meeting? Okay, okay, I got it, Life Cereal: the cure for the common breakfast cereal…Roger, I’m done!!!”
Ever notice they never cut away from Joan walking out of a room? So did Fanta. Kind of offensive ad placement if you ask me.
Now Joan’s like “Uhh, boys…eyes down here on my giant Fanta logo.”
Come on, Don swimming in Fanta? That just seems like product placement overload.
Way outta line! I didn’t pay a $100 cable bill for a 40 minute long Fanta ad.
My biggest question about this season of Justified is “What’s going on with Dickie Bennett’s hair?” I know he just got out of prison, but I think even prison barbers could cut better than that. You’d think he was attacked by a razor, except the other side is exactly the same.
Actually, I think I had that same haircut after one of those times I went to Sport Clips.