Private detectives holding a guy hostage on a boat and interrogating him has now been done on two of my favorite TV shows, “Terriers,” and “True Detective.” Since “True Detective” is an anthology show, I think they should just make its second season be the second season of the canceled way too soon “Terriers.”
I always think it’s weird in movies and TV shows when a character is going undercover or trying to not look suspicious they put on a plain baseball hat. If anything, this would make me more suspicious of the person. Who wears a blank solid color hat? I’ve literally never seen someone wearing a hat with nothing on it. What, does this guy just like wearing hats? He doesn’t want his hat to make a statement about a sports team? He’s just a “hat guy?” It’s all very suspicious, I think he’s trying to pull one over on me. You know, I think it’s blank because he doesn’t know anything about sports. He seems to have gone out of his way to avoid being questioned about the Atlanta Braves record by not wearing an Atlanta Braves hat. I think he doesn’t know about sports because he spends all his time solving crimes AS A COP! He’s a cop! Are you wearing a wire?!
I’ve been watching The Sopranos for the first time recently. I’ve waited so long to watch it that everything is dated. It’s almost a period piece like “Mad Men,” but in the late ’90s. For example:
Tony buys his mom “one of these new CD players.” According to him they’re starting to put all the classics out on compact disc.
Tony says “Man, these laserdiscs are great, right?” Then they rob a truck full of DVD players.
Christopher robs a truck full of Pokemon cards.
Tony mecilessly beats a man with a Big Mouth Billy Bass. Also, Big Mouth Billy Bass plays into a large part of the story as symbolism.
Anthony Jr says “That’s phat.”
Jerry Seinfeld confirmed there will be a “Seinfeld” reunion after he was spotted filming in New York with Jason Alexander. Most people are asking if it’s going to be a TV episode, a web video, or a commercial, but what I’m asking is if Jason Alexander had to shave off his new head of hair. Assuming it’s not a toupee, would he take the risk of shaving off the hair that he probably spent a lot of money to be able to grow? Because it might not grow back. Or he could go the bald cap route. Just think of the irony of a famously bald man wearing a bald cap. Either way is bad. He could lose all that money he spent on the team of scientists that grew his hair back, or he would have to walk around in a bald cap while knowing everyone is laughing at him for being a bald guy who thinks he isn’t bald. It’s a tough decision, I don’t envy him. Well, yeah, I do. He’s probably a billionaire. I’d definitely shave my head for some of that Jason Alexander Seinfeld syndication money.
I hope there’s a scene in “True Detective” where Rust is on a long rant when the screen goes black and says “Four Days Later,” then cuts back to Rust still ranting, only now with a full beard and a table full of 70 empty beer cans, hundreds of cigarette butts, and the two detectives sleeping.
Ads for Hulu Plus should just be the CEO of Hulu speaking in Italian accent:
"Hey, we’re like Netflix but with commercials, okay?! Whaddayagonnado? We gotsum original series too! None ya wanna watch, but we gottem! Hey, send me $7.99 a month and fuggeitaboutit! All I’m sayin’ is it’d be a real shame to miss out on Moone Boy!”
I think CBS might have put too much stock in the belief that people would like Under The Dome. I mean, just look at their fall lineup. Was it really necessary to have all their shows set under domes?
Monday, Sept. 23
8-9pm – How I Met Your Mother Under The Dome
9-9:30pm – 2 Broke Girls Under The Dome
9:30-10pm – Mom Under The Dome
10-11pm – Hostages Under The Dome
Tuesday, Sept. 24
8-9pm – NCIS: Under The Dome
9-10pm – NCIS: Los Angeles: Under The Dome
10-11pm – Person of Interest Under The Dome
Wednesday, Sept. 25
9-10pm – Criminal Minds Under The Dome
10-11pm – CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Under The Dome
Thursday, Sept. 26
8-8:30pm – The Big Bang Theory Under The Dome
8:30-9pm – The Millers Under The Dome
9-9:30pm – The Crazy Ones Under The Dome
9:30-10pm – Two and a Half Men Under The Dome
10-11pm – Elementary Under The Dome
Friday, Sept. 27
8-9pm – Undercover Boss Under The Dome
9-10pm – Hawaii-Five 0 Under The Dome
10-11pm – Blue Bloods Under The Dome
Saturday, Sept. 28
10-11pm – 48 Hours Under The Dome
Sunday, Sept. 29
7-8pm – 60 Minutes Under The Dome
8-9pm – The Amazing Race Under The Dome
9-10pm – The Good Wife Under The Dome
10-11pm – The Mentalist Under The Dome
My Thoughts On This Scene From Hannibal
If someone is buying a clear jumpsuit like that they should be arrested immediately. The cashier should just push a button under the counter and a SWAT team storms the into the store, guns drawn. Or if they’re buying it online, the SWAT team is busting down the person’s door seconds after they click “add to cart.” I hope that is part of PRISM.
Seriously, what can a person be doing to necessitate a full body suit like that? Nothing good, I can tell you that. If you see someone wearing that suit you’re about to be violently murdered. Nobody was ever like “I’m doing some painting at my local homeless shelter, I better buy this full body clear protective jumpsuit so I don’t stain my clothes.” They were thinking “I’m going to be killing someone in a very bloody way. There is going to be a TON of splatter.”
On second thought, it would make a pretty good Halloween costume. I can’t find one online, I googled “full body clear jumpsuit” and…oh, no I just googled “full body clear jumpsuit.” THE SWAT TEAM IS HERE!!! I didn’t even find it or add it to my cart!
UPDATE: I explained to the SWAT team that I just googled it for purposes of a blog post about the NBC television program Hannibal. They said “Nice try, that’s a movie.” They also say they’re not fixing my door and “There’s not going to be any doors where you’re going.”
UPDATE 2: I have escaped custody, deleted browsing history, and am currently seeking asylum. Anyone got Snowden’s number?
Don’t even think about buying one of those jumpsuits, they’re only good for murderin’ and meth cookin’.
People are always talking about who wore it best, well, I’m not and nobody I know is, but I assume people on TV and the Internet are. So get ready to debate who wore THESE best:
Which fictional character from a television show wore a stupid hat the best? George Costanza from Seinfeld, or Lane Pryce from Mad Men?
Which crazy person wore a Carhartt jacket best, Limehouse from Justified or Rick Perry?
Which fictional character from a television show ate ribs the best and/or wore the BBQ sauce the best? Frank Underwood from House of Cards, or Alex from Happy Endings?
Everyone go settle this debate with a heated argument, I’m gonna go do something else.
Homeland is one of the best shows on TV, but I have to say that I didn’t think this scene was very realistic. I mean, a terrorist is being interrogated in the other room and Carrie and Saul are just sitting around watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond? Hey, I love Raymond as much as the next guy but get your priorities straight, watch the interrogation. Plus they’ve got like four different episodes playing, probably one on WGN, one on TBS, one on The CW, or maybe The Hallmark Channel. Ray Romano just made $2 million in syndication while you were reading that sentence. But you’ve gotta admit that’s a pretty sweet set-up they’ve got there.
I also thought that interrogation scene was really bizarre. The interrogator brought out that laptop and said “I’ve got something I’d like you to watch,” then just started playing the pilot of Men Of A Certain Age. Then he left the room and was like “Let him suck on that.” I thought Men of A Certain Age was a great show, although, I suppose it would be a shock to a guy who lived in a hole for 8 years replaying episodes of Raymond in his head. Men Of A Certain Age was kind of depressing, which is why Brody started crying, I guess? I don’t know, I’m confused.
Anyway, it was a really weird episode. I’m starting to think someone altered the video in my download or something.