Ads for Hulu Plus should just be the CEO of Hulu speaking in Italian accent:
"Hey, we’re like Netflix but with commercials, okay?! Whaddayagonnado? We gotsum original series too! None ya wanna watch, but we gottem! Hey, send me $7.99 a month and fuggeitaboutit! All I’m sayin’ is it’d be a real shame to miss out on Moone Boy!”
I think CBS might have put too much stock in the belief that people would like Under The Dome. I mean, just look at their fall lineup. Was it really necessary to have all their shows set under domes?
Monday, Sept. 23
8-9pm – How I Met Your Mother Under The Dome
9-9:30pm – 2 Broke Girls Under The Dome
9:30-10pm – Mom Under The Dome
10-11pm – Hostages Under The Dome
Tuesday, Sept. 24
8-9pm – NCIS: Under The Dome
9-10pm – NCIS: Los Angeles: Under The Dome
10-11pm – Person of Interest Under The Dome
Wednesday, Sept. 25
9-10pm – Criminal Minds Under The Dome
10-11pm – CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Under The Dome
Thursday, Sept. 26
8-8:30pm – The Big Bang Theory Under The Dome
8:30-9pm – The Millers Under The Dome
9-9:30pm – The Crazy Ones Under The Dome
9:30-10pm – Two and a Half Men Under The Dome
10-11pm – Elementary Under The Dome
Friday, Sept. 27
8-9pm – Undercover Boss Under The Dome
9-10pm – Hawaii-Five 0 Under The Dome
10-11pm – Blue Bloods Under The Dome
Saturday, Sept. 28
10-11pm – 48 Hours Under The Dome
Sunday, Sept. 29
7-8pm – 60 Minutes Under The Dome
8-9pm – The Amazing Race Under The Dome
9-10pm – The Good Wife Under The Dome
10-11pm – The Mentalist Under The Dome
My Thoughts On This Scene From Hannibal
If someone is buying a clear jumpsuit like that they should be arrested immediately. The cashier should just push a button under the counter and a SWAT team storms the into the store, guns drawn. Or if they’re buying it online, the SWAT team is busting down the person’s door seconds after they click “add to cart.” I hope that is part of PRISM.
Seriously, what can a person be doing to necessitate a full body suit like that? Nothing good, I can tell you that. If you see someone wearing that suit you’re about to be violently murdered. Nobody was ever like “I’m doing some painting at my local homeless shelter, I better buy this full body clear protective jumpsuit so I don’t stain my clothes.” They were thinking “I’m going to be killing someone in a very bloody way. There is going to be a TON of splatter.”
On second thought, it would make a pretty good Halloween costume. I can’t find one online, I googled “full body clear jumpsuit” and…oh, no I just googled “full body clear jumpsuit.” THE SWAT TEAM IS HERE!!! I didn’t even find it or add it to my cart!
UPDATE: I explained to the SWAT team that I just googled it for purposes of a blog post about the NBC television program Hannibal. They said “Nice try, that’s a movie.” They also say they’re not fixing my door and “There’s not going to be any doors where you’re going.”
UPDATE 2: I have escaped custody, deleted browsing history, and am currently seeking asylum. Anyone got Snowden’s number?
Don’t even think about buying one of those jumpsuits, they’re only good for murderin’ and meth cookin’.
People are always talking about who wore it best, well, I’m not and nobody I know is, but I assume people on TV and the Internet are. So get ready to debate who wore THESE best:
Which fictional character from a television show wore a stupid hat the best? George Costanza from Seinfeld, or Lane Pryce from Mad Men?
Which crazy person wore a Carhartt jacket best, Limehouse from Justified or Rick Perry?
Which fictional character from a television show ate ribs the best and/or wore the BBQ sauce the best? Frank Underwood from House of Cards, or Alex from Happy Endings?
Everyone go settle this debate with a heated argument, I’m gonna go do something else.
Homeland is one of the best shows on TV, but I have to say that I didn’t think this scene was very realistic. I mean, a terrorist is being interrogated in the other room and Carrie and Saul are just sitting around watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond? Hey, I love Raymond as much as the next guy but get your priorities straight, watch the interrogation. Plus they’ve got like four different episodes playing, probably one on WGN, one on TBS, one on The CW, or maybe The Hallmark Channel. Ray Romano just made $2 million in syndication while you were reading that sentence. But you’ve gotta admit that’s a pretty sweet set-up they’ve got there.
I also thought that interrogation scene was really bizarre. The interrogator brought out that laptop and said “I’ve got something I’d like you to watch,” then just started playing the pilot of Men Of A Certain Age. Then he left the room and was like “Let him suck on that.” I thought Men of A Certain Age was a great show, although, I suppose it would be a shock to a guy who lived in a hole for 8 years replaying episodes of Raymond in his head. Men Of A Certain Age was kind of depressing, which is why Brody started crying, I guess? I don’t know, I’m confused.
Anyway, it was a really weird episode. I’m starting to think someone altered the video in my download or something.
What The Documentary Crew On “The Office” Must’ve Been Thinking
Season 9 Episode 2, Roy’s Wedding
Instead of reading another pointless recap of The Office, why not just read what the unseen documentary crew must have been thinking?
"I thought Andy said last week that he wanted to fire Nellie as soon as possible. So why exactly didn’t he just fire her when she came in brandishing that massive meat cleaver?"
"Oh, really Jim? You’re depressed about being a paper salesman? Imagine being the guy that’s had to film you every day for nine years. I mean, what am I doing with my life? Instead of having a life of my own I have to film you living your life, which is basically just you sitting around and eating tuna sandwiches every day. I had dreams once! I was going to film rock stars and big time politicians, not some mid-level paper salesman jerk! I need a damn drink!"
"Shouldn’t we warn Erin that the new Clark dude is basically a stage one serial rapist? No? You want me to go over and film them? That seems a little weird. Well, come to think of it, I guess it’s not really any weirder than that time you made me stand outside the door and record Dwight and Angela having sex."
"Seriously? I have to stand here and film Dwight and Nellie watching movies for three hours? I can’t even watch the movie, I have to stand here and watch them watch it. This is literally the worst thing I can imagine. I hate Darrell so much right now, he just had to bring in that DVD. Well, so much for seeing my kids tonight. Can’t I at least get a chair?”
"Should I tell Angela that her husband is gay and cheating on her with Oscar? I mean, we do have videographic proof, after all. Is videographic a word? I don’t know."
"Roy didn’t invite me to his wedding but now they’re making me go film Jim and Pam at his wedding at 8 AM on a weekday. This is going to be awkward. By the way, who invites the guy who broke up your last wedding to your new wedding? Roy, that’s who. Gravel for brains. What did I ever do that he wouldn’t invite me? Anyway, guess I won’t get to see my kids this morning either.”
I assume he’s referring to his post-Seinfeld projects. Yeah, BURN!!
(Instead of saying “BURN!” next time, start saying “THE BURN WITH JEFF ROSS!!!” really loud in a Gilbert Gottfried-like voice. Maybe it’ll catch on.)
Internet Appalled That 68 Year Old Man Doesn’t Find “Community” To Be Greatest Creation In The History Of Man
The nation was enraged yesterday when a balding 68 year old multimillionaire named Chevy Chase implied in an interview from February that his TV series Community wasn’t the culmination of centuries of human struggle which led to its unlikely creation and need to be worshiped. Of course, by nation, I mean the under 1 million people who watch Community on a weekly basis and found time to read the interview on the UK version of The Huffington Post. Also, by enraged, I mean falsely angered due to several websites’ manipulation of the interview.
Websites Gawker, Vulture, and Splitsider all basically called Chase a waste of air/human garbage for not possessing the exact same sense of humor as their target demographic. Gawker, trying to gain page views like always, takes all of Chase’s quotes out of context and calls him an asshole in the headline. I know a guy who finds Two and a Half Men to be the funniest thing ever. I don’t agree in the slightest, but I also don’t write an article and insult him in the headline for not having the same tastes in entertainment as I do. Gawker includes Chase’s remarks about the set being boring to look at, but leaves out that the reason he said that was because he was complimenting the uniqueness of the paintball episodes.
Vulture says that Chase talked about money for an uncomfortable amount of time. Well, yeah he’s going to talk about money when he’s asked “Is there anything you’ve ever blown a lot of money on?” He also talks about money when he says he works a job (Community) to make money to provide for his family. If that makes him money obsessed, I suppose all working people with families are money obsessed.
Splitsider and Gawker both say Chase made a degrading remark about Louis CK, which could possibly be true. Chase is quoted as saying the following:
"I wouldn’t in any way make a degrading remark about Louis CK, but the question is do I think anyone is funny? And the answer is not too many people. He might fit right in there."
So how does Splitsider know what “there” means? Chase could be saying that CK fits into the funny category or the unfunny category. There’s really no way of telling. Even if he doesn’t find CK to be funny, that’s okay. Humor is subjective, and I don’t expect a guy old enough to be a grandfather to have the same sense of humor as me. I’d also applaud him for being honest. There’s enough liars in Hollywood, specifically the ones that said The Marriage Ref was going to be good because they were guests on it. Also, did anyone consider he might be joking? He is a comedian, which is a professional jokester, and Splitsider is the website that thought Colin Quinn’s Twitter was serious.
Mostly, they all seem to be most upset with this quote:
The hours are hideous, and it’s still a sitcom on television, which is probably the lowest form of television. That’s my feeling about it. I think the reason I have stuck around is because I love these kids, the cast - they are very good. It’s not like I am working with the great innovators of all time, but at the same time, they are my friends
Yeah, what a jerk, referring to the cast as “very good” and his “friends.” Also, “not the greatest innovators of all time?” Uh, excuse me Chevy, but when I think of innovators, I think of Martin Luther King Jr, Steve Jobs, and Joel McHale. How dare a former movie star who probably hasn’t watched television since 1976 not consider a secondary role on a television sitcom to be a step up! How on Earth can he not prefer working more hours for less money?
We all know Chevy Chase is most likely a jerk and Community is a great TV show. Neither of those are news. What is news is these websites’ hatred towards Chevy Chase. I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it, I’m just saying he doesn’t deserve it for this interview. Plus, he pretty much said all of the exact same stuff about Community months ago.
To sum it all up, slow news day:
You didn’t watch his version of Curb Your Enthusiasm entitled The Paul Reiser Show. You also probably won’t watch his version of Louie entitled Paulie, but he made it anyway. Coming soon to NBC, the series directed by, written by, produced by, key gripped by, and food serviced by Paul Reiser starring Paul Reiser, Paulie.
Only on NBC: We peacock comedy.
Leaked Images From “Breaking Bad” Finale
Julian Assange just sent me these LEAKED images from the series finale of Breaking Bad:
WOW, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED??!!!!!!
TALK ABOUT A SPOILER ALERT! I can’t believe that guy died.
Man, this finale is INSANE.
Here it is, the final shot of the series:
If you think those images are crazy, wait until you see the first 10 minutes of the episode that just leaked:
Thanks Julian Assange.